Will the Real Men Please Stand Up?

Football. Hunting. Cars. Motorcycles. Trucks. Big trucks. And bacon.

These are a few of the things our culture says are inherent in the life of a real man.

Musicals. Chick flicks. Poetry. Quiet walks along the shore. Moonlight. Concerts. Reading.

These are a few of the things our culture says are not to be found in the life of a real man.

But wait a minute, here. Are there men who like some of the things "real men" are supposed to shun? Truth is, there are.

I have to confess that I can relate to the second list more than to the first. Football bores me. Hunting, well, I can’t pull the trigger and take the life of an innocent creature who poses no threat to me. I drive a car. And I do love bacon.

But I also enjoy musicals. I fell in love with the music of Rodgers and Hammerstein while I was in high school, and I still love it, along with the music of Andrew Lloyd-Weber. And others. I do enjoy romantic movies; I like stories of how a man and a woman meet, fall in love and marry. Robert Frost is one of my favorite writers, and moonlight and concerts, well, I remember those fondly from the days of my youth when I was courting my wife. And I love to read.

So, am I not a real man? Must I turn in my man card because my likes and dislikes do not match an arbitrary cataloging of the traits of a real man? Am I supposed to quietly accept the dictates of whoever decided that his own personal traits should determine the manhood of every other male in our society? Sorry, Dude. That just doesn’t work for me.

Besides, as far as I’m concerned, the test of a real man does not have anything to do with the things he likes to do for personal enjoyment. One real man may enjoy watching a football game; another real man might enjoy watching The Sound of Music. One real man may find enjoyment in blasting animals with a rifle. Another real man might prefer stalking animals with a camera. These are the superficial entertainments in life. They are purely a matter of personal taste and choice in the ways different men choose recreational activities. Why should these relatively unimportant things be the criteria for determining who the "real man" is?

The test of a real man has nothing to do with his entertainment choices. It has everything to do with his convictions and his commitments.

A real man is committed to his family. His wife, his children, his grandchildren are important people who occupy an important place in his life, his concerns, his affections, his thoughts. A real man supports his family by working hard, but his commitment to his work never exceeds his commitment to his family. A real man loves one woman until death parts them. He is faithful to her and would never consider breaking his vows to her. Oh, oh. This alone takes quite a few professional athletes out of contention for a real man award.

A real man fixes things. Not just mechanical or tangible things. Some men can fix these things better than others. But a real man fixes situations. If there is conflict he seeks to find a resolution for it. If a situation isn’t working, the real man seeks to find a way to make it work. If he can’t, then he works to replace the non-working situation with one that does work. He does not get a gun and let his frustrations pull the trigger.

The real man values people over things. Men’s toys differ. One man likes the look and feel of a shotgun or rifle; another man finds joy in the lines and lenses of a camera. But both use their "toys" to benefit people. The man with the gun seeks to protect and provide for others with his gun. Legally, of course. He doesn’t aim his gun at the clerk in the convenience store or the teller in the bank because his kid needs new shoes. The man with the camera seeks to bring joy and comfort to others with his photographs. Both use their toys as tools to serve others.

The real man is not spiritual, nor is he religious. Instead the real man loves Jesus. He has a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, by faith, and he commits his life to Jesus and seeks to live for Him and become more like Him. Since the real man is the leader of his home and family, he takes his wife and children to worship with others every week. He shares what God is teaching him with them, and leads them in reading and understanding the Bible. Different men do this in different ways, but a real man leaves a Scriptural mark on his wife, his children, his grandchildren and on all with whom he has contact. Those who are real men follow the one who is the Real Man.

So let us stop evaluating manhood by the things that don’t count, personal preferences for entertainment, toys and tools. Let us instead evaluate manhood by the things that do count, for now and for eternity. Men who are committed to others and to Jesus are the real men who stand up every day and allow themselves to be used by God to the benefit of others.

All other men, please remain seated.

The picture shows myself, who strives to be a real man, reading to my granddaughter, Evelyn, when she was younger.